Losing a pet can be as painful as losing a family member, yet many owners feel their grief is dismissed. The RSPCA, Blue Cross and Cats Protection each publish guidance and run or point to support services for people grieving a pet. This article summarises what they say about the experience of pet grief, talking to others, helping children and finding support. It is general guidance from UK charities and is not a substitute for advice from a GP or a mental health professional.
Why pet grief can be so hard
The RSPCA’s Pet Bereavement Toolkit says that losing a pet feels like losing a family member yet many people feel their grief is dismissed. It cites its own Pet Grief Surveys, in which more than 4,000 people shared how they felt after a loss, and the 2025 survey figures it quotes include 57% saying they felt they had to hide their grief, 58% believing a stigma exists and 87% not feeling understood. It also says fewer than 1 in 10 people feel pet grief is taken as seriously as it should be.
A pet bereavement therapist quoted by the RSPCA explains why the loss can be disorienting: pets are often a daily routine and an emotional anchor. He lists reasons that can complicate grief, such as a lack of recognition from others, sole responsibility for the animal’s care, which can bring guilt, a sudden or unresolved loss like an accident or a pet going missing, and anticipatory grief, the anxiety felt when a loss is coming.
Grief is not a tidy sequence
The RSPCA says the familiar five stages of grief are rarely so tidy. Grief does not follow a straight line, and many people move back and forth between intense feelings and everyday functioning, a pattern it calls the dual process model. It says there is no right way to grieve and no rule for how long grief lasts. Cats Protection likewise says that as with any loss, there is no right way to feel, and that people may feel that no one understands, feel guilty or blame themselves, feel confused or angry, or feel they are burdening family and friends by talking.
Coping and talking about it
The RSPCA suggests small routines and acts of self-kindness:
- keeping up familiar routines where possible and making time for small enjoyable moments each day;
- using a grounding technique such as naming three things seen, two things touched and one thing heard;
- creating a memory box, journaling or taking a walk in the pet’s honour;
- using a simple “fact, feel, want” statement with others, for example, saying that the pet died, that the person feels heartbroken and that they would appreciate space.
The RSPCA says that if grief feels overwhelming, speaking to a professional can help. Cats Protection advises contacting a GP for additional support if grief becomes complex or prolonged and the person is not coping. On the workplace, the RSPCA’s survey found that 92% of employed respondents said pet loss affected their ability to work and 77.4% felt it is not taken seriously enough there.
Supporting someone else
The RSPCA’s guidance on supporting someone grieving a pet advises acknowledging the loss, listening, using the pet’s name, offering practical help and respecting the person’s need for space. It says to avoid phrases that belittle the loss, such as “at least it was just a dog” or “you can always get another one”, and to avoid “I know how you feel” unless asked, focusing on the grieving person instead.
Helping children
Blue Cross says a pet’s death may be a child’s first experience of losing something close, and that how a child and those around them handle it may lay a foundation for coping with later losses. It describes how understanding varies with age: children up to two have little concept of death, two- to four-year-olds find it hard to grasp that it is permanent, and by around nine most children know death is final. Its tips include:
- make sure the child does not hear about the death from someone they do not know;
- be honest, and do not pretend the pet has gone missing if it has died;
- use straightforward words such as “dead” or “died” in preference to “put to sleep”, which may confuse younger children;
- include the child in discussions and decisions, and encourage them to talk, write, draw or make a memory box;
- be prepared to talk about how the pet died without distressing detail, and inform the child’s teacher discreetly if the child is very upset.
On another pet, Blue Cross says timing is important, that a new pet immediately will not take away the child’s pain, and that a new pet should not be seen as a replacement.
Where to find support
These services are described on each charity’s page. Opening hours and contact details are set by the charities and can change.
- Blue Cross Pet Loss Support offers a free, confidential helpline, webchat and email service for loss through death, enforced separation or theft. The page gives the number 0800 096 6606 and daily hours of 8.30am to 8.30pm, with email replies within 48 hours. Outside those hours it points to the Samaritans on 116 123.
- Cats Protection’s Paws to Listen is a free, confidential phone line staffed by trained volunteer listeners for people who have lost a cat, including by euthanasia or because the cat has gone missing. The page gives 0800 024 94 94, open 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday excluding bank holidays, with a call-back service when lines are busy. The charity says it is a listening service and not counselling.
- The RSPCA’s toolkit collects guidance on coping, children, supporting others, whether pets grieve and pet loss at work.
The bottom line
Charity guidance is consistent that pet grief is real, non-linear and deserving of support, and that hiding it tends to make it harder. Small routines, honest conversations, careful language with children and the free listening services run by Blue Cross and Cats Protection are the tools it recommends, with a GP or professional support for grief that becomes overwhelming or prolonged.