Cats Protection, a UK cat welfare charity, says cats and children can live together peacefully, and that most problems can be avoided with planning and supervision. This guide summarises its advice for families with children who are older than newborns; for babies, see this site’s guide to a new baby and the family pet. It is general welfare information, not a substitute for a vet or a qualified cat behaviourist.
Choosing the right cat for a family
Cats Protection says every cat is unique, so the cat should suit the child’s age, the family’s lifestyle and the cat’s own needs. A timid cat, for example, may become stressed, appear aggressive or hide more in a loud, busy home. For a family home it suggests looking for a cat that is confident and friendly, not too stressed by loud noises or changes, happy to be stroked and handled, calm and curious with new people and, ideally, has a positive history with children. For the adoption process, see this site’s guide to adopting a rescue dog or cat.
The charity cautions that a kitten is not always the best choice. Kittens need training and lots of care and are still learning to use their claws, which makes rough play more likely. It says young children can be loud and unpredictable and do not yet understand that a kitten is not a soft toy, so a slightly older, calmer cat may tolerate a young child better.
Settling a new cat in
Cats Protection advises taking time. It suggests bringing home something familiar such as the cat’s bedding, and keeping the new cat in a separate room with the door closed and everything it needs in one place, so that it can adjust at its own pace. The cat should get used to its sanctuary room before meeting family members. The charity says it is normal for new cats to be stressed by the change, and that refusing to interact, eating less, scratching and spraying are signs of stress; it advises being patient and contacting a vet if struggling.
Creating safe spaces
All cats, Cats Protection says, need peaceful places to eat, sleep and rest, ideally in a quiet part of the home. The bed and food should be away from busy areas such as the living room or hallway. With very young children, a baby gate can create a child-free area. The litter tray should be kept out of the way, which gives the cat a safe place to toilet and stops children messing with the contents. Children’s sandpits should be covered when not in use, or the cat may mistake them for a litter tray. High places such as cat trees or wall shelves let the cat observe family life away from grabby hands, although it says cats are better at climbing up than getting down, so high places should be easy to get down from.
The first meeting
The charity says to teach children from day one how to treat a cat respectfully. Children need to understand that cats like to be left in peace when eating, drinking, toileting or sleeping, are frightened by loud noises and dislike being grabbed without warning. It recommends always supervising interactions and giving the cat the option to run and hide. For a first introduction it suggests:
- Waiting until the cat is settled and comfortable with the adults, then having children sit quietly in a neutral space, with young children behind a baby gate if needed.
- Letting the cat sniff a child’s outstretched hand at its own pace, and perhaps giving the cat some of the child’s clothing beforehand so the smell is familiar.
- Allowing the cat to approach first, never forcing it closer or keeping it in the room if scared.
- Building up time together slowly and showing children where cats do and do not like to be touched.
- Encouraging other activities than stroking, such as fishing-rod toys, throwing bouncy balls and giving treats in moderation.
Teaching children to handle and read a cat
Cats Protection suggests showing a child how to stroke with an open hand and a soft, gentle stroke, noting that babies and toddlers may poke, pat or grab skin. Holding a toddler’s hand to demonstrate can help, along with praise for gentleness. For children old enough to lift a cat, it advises picking it up with one hand supporting the chest and the other the hind legs, holding it securely to the chest, and placing the cat gently on the floor if it wriggles. It says children should never pull a hiding cat out or squeeze in next to it, because cornering a cat might lead to a scratch or bite.
Children should also learn body language. Swishing tails, ruffled fur and hissing are obvious warnings. Subtler signs of discomfort listed by the charity include dilated pupils, ears turned out to the side or back, nose licking, a fast twitching tail tip, sudden quick grooming and looking away. If the cat is given space at that point, it says, the cat is unlikely to escalate. See also the site’s guide to cat body language.
If the cat is not coping
A cat adjusting well to life with children should be eating, drinking, sleeping and following normal routines. Cats Protection says behaviour changes, reluctance to come into the house or be near children, hiding, spraying or aggression suggest the cat is unhappy. It advises speaking to a vet first to rule out medical reasons, then a qualified cat behaviourist.
Frequently asked questions
Is a kitten a good first cat for a family with toddlers?
Cats Protection says kittens and children are not always the best mix and suggests that a slightly older, calmer cat may be better for young children.
The bottom line
Cats Protection’s advice is to match the cat to the household, give it a quiet space and litter tray children cannot reach, introduce it slowly on its own terms, supervise every interaction and teach children gentle handling and cat body language. Persistent hiding, spraying or aggression is a reason to involve a vet and then a behaviourist.